im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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