I swear she didn't look like that last week.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
