remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
