i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
