Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
