this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Randomize
