i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
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