You were right. It hurts to walk today.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
