you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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