Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize
