i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I have feelings that need drinking.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
