pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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