it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
