like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
