Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
