So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
