absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Randomize
