i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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