You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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