ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
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