i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
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