I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
