I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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