dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize