do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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