dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
