Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
