can we get nightvision for the apartment?
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
My vagina is very pro this idea
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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