my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
