my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
