My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
only if we run a train.
done.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Randomize
