I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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