let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
