On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
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