Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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