Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Randomize
