You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
