her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
My penis needs a shock collar
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
