Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
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