Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
