Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
