I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
