I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
