Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
