i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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