Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize