Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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