Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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