Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
