I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
