no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
