At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
