my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I have post one night stand depression
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