Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
