You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
