i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
