what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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