I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
P.S. I can't hear my feet
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
