Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
