Barsexuality is the new black.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
